A-ha! The puzzle has been solved. The National Enquirer has discovered the identity of Khloe Kardashian's father, and the answer is a killer:
Following the ridiculous, unproven rumor that Khloe is the product of an affair between Kris Jenner and a mystery man, this tabloid has now published an equally ridiculous and unproven rumor: that the former Buffalo Bills running back and likely murderer was that man.
The cover story should actually come as good news to the family. It's given Kim Kardashian a chance to prove she's not a robot, as she actually made us laugh with the following Tweet in response to this report:
"It makes sense now. Khloe u are so tan!"